Thanksgiving Turkey Levy

THANKSGIVING TURKEY LEVY

Thanksgiving in the US and Christmas in the UK have one thing in common; they each end up with a partly stripped turkey carcass sitting in the refrigerator, in skeletal admonishment of our excesses. Since today is the 27^th November, or rather Thanksgiving Day, I felt prompted to address an issue that has troubled me for some time.

Our American cousins consume their turkeys on the fourth Thursday in November and have done so, give or take a few days, every year since 1621, when the Pilgrim Fathers celebrated and gave thanks for their first harvest.

In an age of political correctness I must point out that the Pilgrim Fathers were English and since celebrations are decreed by people rather than their location surely Thanksgiving is an English affair.

George Washington pronounced the first national Thanksgiving celebration be held on the 26^th November 1789, though he omitted to acknowledge the English connection.

Now, whilst I have no wish to see such a special day removed from the American calendar, or have their enjoyment blighted, the modern day need for correctness is paramount.

I’d like to propose a solution that would formally recognize the festival’s origins and permit its’ continuance, albeit under license.

Since the Thanksgiving feast features one particular animal it seems appropriate to use it as a means of policing the license and I would therefore like to propose a Turkey Levy.

As I have already indicated, this should not compromise the feast in any way so the levy should be modest, extremely so. In fact, I would propose a levy of just one dollar per bird, (backdated to 1789, the year of Washington’s omission, plus an equitable rate of interest).

A period of consideration will obviously be required, but in the meantime and in the continued interests of Political Correctness we might give some thought to another couple of issues.

Firstly, the matter of some water damaged tea.  

Next, the music used for the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ was written by John Stafford Smith, an Englishman and adopted by the US Navy during his lifetime. Were any royalties paid?

 Just saying.